The husband who went to Lingerie school to get sexy underwear for his wife

My husband says that sometimes the more covered up a woman is, the sexier she is.

"You can unveil things as you go along: you don't want it all out on show."

Brett has another slice of wisdom (rather more reliable, I think): "You can't tell how good a cake will taste by looking at the ingredients on the supermarket shelf."

In other words, how will the pieces of limp material dangling off the hangers look when they're draped over the body of your loved one?

It's damn near impossible to tell. Hence the academy.

But aren't men shy about asking advice about their sex life?

"Men know that we know what it's for," admits Maria.

"I'm like the third person in the bedroom - because I'm advising people on what their wife or girlfriend should be wearing to please them," she says.

"I've never really thought about it like that before, but that's how it is."

Enough of the theory, what about some practical advice?

I know what not to buy - but that isn't very useful on its own.

"First of all, we need to talk about size," says Maria.

"What bra size is your wife?"

At this point, I feel very proud of myself.

I've snooped in my wife's underwear drawer and know the answer.

Not all Maria's customers show such foresight.

"Some men will cup their hands in front of my breasts and say: "About that size?"

Or they'll point to another woman in the department and say: "My girlfriend's a little bit bigger than her and a little bit smaller than you." (Maria is a 34DD.)